


Beautiful

by future_fishy



Series: Victuuri Week 2017 [3]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Body Image, Body Worship, Chubby Katsuki Yuuri, Day 3, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Victuuri Week 2017, stretch marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 09:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9650561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/future_fishy/pseuds/future_fishy
Summary: “Yuuri, how about you finish your food, then we go upstairs and I’ll show you how beautiful you are in front of the mirror, okay?”





	

Yuuri had expected to gain weight after he retired. But he hadn’t expected it would happen so quickly. His weight usually levelled out around where he’d been when Viktor first became his coach; like his body naturally tended towards that size, and now was no exception. He twisted and turned in front of the full length mirror in his and Viktor’s bedroom, examining the new dark pink stretch marks overlapping the old paler ones. Surely it was only a matter of time before Viktor wouldn’t want to touch him anymore. Wouldn’t want _him_ anymore. Viktor loved him, Yuuri knew that; but that didn’t mean he was still attracted to him like this. Sex had become a rare thing over the past couple of months, but not for Viktor’s lack of trying. Yuuri just really wasn’t in the mood for it when he felt like this, which only made him feel worse because Viktor must have been awfully pent up by now. Yuuri would have continued that train of thought for hours, if his husband’s voice hadn’t brought him out of it.

“Yuuri,” Viktor called from the kitchen. _Their_ kitchen, in _their_ house, a few streets away from Yuuri’s parents’. “I made dinner, darling.”

Yuuri pulled on a t-shirt and made is way downstairs, greeted by Viktor’s smile and the smell of his favourite dish.

“Katsudon for my little katsudon.” Viktor beamed, placing the bowl down at Yuuri’s spot at the dinner table, “I asked your mother to teach me how to make it.”

“Thank you, Vitya.” Yuuri said, less enthusiastic than Viktor would have hoped.

Yuuri wasn’t in the mood to eat right now, but he had to at least try some after Viktor had gone to so much trouble to cook him his favourite food. When he took a bite, he couldn’t help his little hum of satisfaction. Viktor had replicated the recipe perfectly. But every bite just reminded him of the numbers creeping up on the bathroom scale.

“How is it?” Viktor asked eagerly, “Is it good?”

Yuuri swallowed his bite before answering, “Yeah, it’s great.”

But Yuuri didn’t _sound_ like he thought it was great. He sounded upset.

“Yuuri, honey, is everything okay?” Viktor reached over the table to touch Yuuri’s hand, but he pulled away.

“This is delicious, Viktor, really, but I…” Yuuri tried to find the right words, “It’s just, I should really loose some weight, shouldn’t I?”

It wasn’t really a question.

Viktor looked puzzled, “Why would you say that? We’re retired, it’s not like we need to keep our figures for skating anymore.”

Viktor said that like he was the one gaining weight like crazy. As far as Yuuri could tell, the only change to Viktor’s physique since retirement was a little loss of muscle definition, and he quit skating years before Yuuri did.

“But I look—” Yuuri began, but Viktor didn’t let him finish.

“Beautiful.” Viktor insisted, “Yuuri, you look as beautiful as ever.”

_Don’t lie,_ Yuuri wanted to say, because he remembered Viktor’s teasing when he’d first come to be his coach. The little digs about his weight hadn’t hurt too much, he’d been called worse, but after that crippling loss… Yuuri wasn’t even mad about it anymore, but he hadn’t forgotten.

“What about when you first started coaching me?”

And Viktor’s face dropped, “Yuuri, I— I am so sorry about that… I didn’t mean it. I was just upset and bitter, because I felt like you’d rejected me so I was stupid and petty and I teased you. I know that’s not an excuse. I was mean, and awful, and I wanted to apologise for it at the time, but the longer I left it the more it felt like I would just be digging it up and— _god,_ Yuuri, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Yuuri said, sounding completely not okay, “You didn’t mean it.”

“No, it isn’t.” Viktor insisted, “Whether I meant it or not, I made you feel bad about yourself, Yuuri, that is not okay.”

The last thing Viktor wanted was for Yuuri to feel bad about himself. He’d done it by accident more than once, which was bad enough, but he’d done this _on purpose._ Just because he was upset that Yuuri didn’t want him. He’d taken the recreation of his routine as Yuuri asking him to be his coach again and it hurt when he turned up in Hasetsu only to have Yuuri back away from him as if the banquet never happened, but there was no excuse for what he did. Viktor was known for being petty, but going after something Yuuri might be insecure about was way out of line. It was years too late, but Viktor had to make up for it somehow.

“Yuuri, how about you finish your food, then we go upstairs and I’ll show you how beautiful you are in front of the mirror, okay?” Viktor tried.

“I— okay…” Yuuri sighed. He could already feel his skin crawling at the thought of Viktor drawing attention to the parts of his body he didn’t like.

 

* * *

Viktor moved the mirror so Yuuri could see himself as he sat on the edge of the bed. He’d eventually managed to get Yuuri down to his underwear, and sat behind his husband, looking Yuuri’s reflection in the eyes over Yuuri’s shoulder. Pressing kisses along Yuuri’s shoulders, Viktor thought about where to start. He slid his hands down from Yuuri’s shoulders to his thighs and traced the shallow ridge of a stretch mark there with his fingertips.

“Your thighs are lovely, Yuuri.” Viktor began, voice soft.

Starting with the “attractive” weight and then moving to places Yuuri was more self-conscious about seemed like the safest bet.

“They have stretch marks all over them.” Yuuri didn’t meet Viktor’s eyes. He didn’t look at the mirror at all.

“Yes, they do.” Viktor agreed, smoothing his hands over the soft flesh, “They make such pretty patterns on your skin.”

Viktor traced them, fingertip running over the older silvery marks and newer pink ones alike. He wasn’t lying, the patterns _were_ pretty, iridescent and reaching like the frosted branches of a tree. Eventually, Yuuri relaxed into it; still flushed and uncomfortable but no longer tensing and squirming. Then Viktor went from tracing to squeezing, and Yuuri went stiff again.

“Viktor…” Yuuri warned, and the squeezing stopped.

Viktor’s hands went back to sliding the length of Yuuri’s thighs, “You’re so soft, zvyozdochka. So soft and lovely and beautiful.”

Yuuri curled in on himself, and Viktor wrapped his arms around him, “But I’m not—”

“You are, Yuuri.” Viktor kissed the back of Yuuri’s neck, “You are.”

“No, I don’t feel—” Yuuri cut himself off this time, with a long, shaky breath.

So Viktor waited, while Yuuri took a few more long breaths, five-second pauses between his inhales and exhales. He didn’t want to push when Yuuri was doing such a good job of keeping himself calm. He just waited, arms around Yuuri’s waist and head rested against Yuuri’s shoulder.

“Don’t feel what, my love?” Viktor tried; softly, almost a whisper.

“I don’t feel sexy.” Yuuri said, so quiet and ashamed it broke Viktor’s heart.

“Oh love, oh my Yuuri, you are, you are.” Viktor held his husband tighter, “Believe me, you _are_.”

Holding Yuuri close, Viktor thought for a while. He knew that just telling Yuuri he was sexy wasn’t going to cut it. Yuuri didn’t trust Viktor’s judgement very much when it came to himself; which was fair, really, because Viktor was _very_ biased. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t telling the truth.

“Yuuri, look at me.” He said, resting his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder, “Look at me, darling.”

Yuuri’s gaze slowly moved to meet Viktor’s in the mirror.

“How about we go shopping tomorrow and get you some new lingerie?” Viktor suggested. Wearing lingerie had never failed to make Yuuri feel more confident in the past.

Yuuri nodded, weakly, “Thank you, Vitya. I love you.”

“I love you too, zvyozdochka.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://futurefishy.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/futurefishy).


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